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May 3 – Disability Hearing

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After two years since moving to Humboldt, I finally had the hearing for my Disability claim that I’ve been working on since 2014 on this round, and since 2006 in total.

It’s taken so long, in part, because I did not have doctors who understood what was going on. And also the constant changing of doctors. I didn’t have a set diagnosis, but this time we do: Conversion Disorder and Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures.

With my not being physically able to remain on task due to anxiety and my body reacting in myoclonic seizure-like convulsions, the vocational specialist flat stated that there would be no jobs within the US that I could perform. So this gives me some hope that it may finally get approved after these 12 years of fighting.

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I know when briefly browsing this site, my other websites, perhaps even my YouTube, it looks like I can do stuff, but when you look closer at the dates of posts, or if you could watch my trying to type this, having had three episodes of being spasmed flat to my bed for a few minutes each time, so far this post, it starts to make sense why I can’t actually do this professionally, for someone else. I can put stuff together for me, but a client or employer requires deadlines and reliability that I am not able to meet. And it’s taken me 11 days to post this.

Medical Personnel

Community Health Center

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The Nightmare.

Doesn’t even begin to describe it.

Doctors constantly changing.

They wouldn’t try to figure out what why I was having seizures. They actually accused me of faking it, or over-exaggerating. Doctors who had never seen me before, who knew nothing of my condition, telling me the thing they didn’t know about or understand must be fake.

And it was many years of this. With many doctors, because they kept coming and going.

At one point, I had 5 appointments with 4 different doctors.

This was before the “Affordable Care Act” and after I was too old to be on my parents’ insurance, despite still being 100% dependent on them. And so I did not have insurance due to “pre-existing conditions.” My lack of insurance is possibly one reason why the CHC doctors didn’t care to try to help, along with knowing they likely wouldn’t be there long.

A few times I went in to try to get paperwork filled out to get EBT Cash Aid, but the doctors, who had never seen me before and didn’t know my condition, looked at me as said they wouldn’t sign that I was disabled. Which angered me, because I’ve lost every job I’ve undertaken since the seizures started as a result of the seizures preventing me from being able to work, and so I’d end up in seizures. They’d panic and call 911, take away my driver’s license, but still refuse to sign for me to get Assistance. After watching me convulsing on the floor for half an hour.

One of these doctors was so bad (Raj), that when he left, the rest of the staff actually threw a party in relief of him leaving.

When I would finally get a doctor that would listen, and did stick around for more than one or two appointments, they completely agreed that I was disabled. Although, at those times, I had financial support from my parents and grandmother, and so I had too much money to qualify for Cash Aid, which was less than what I needed at the time in order to attend school, eat, etc, and so I could not qualify for Cash Aid.

I did have two or three doctors at the CHC over the years that did listen and were supportive of my seizures being a hindrance to my ability to work.